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My family still laughs at the mention of “the Opal.” We needed a second car. Funds were limited. The solution: an Opal repainted in metallic gold with rough patches of bodywork fiberglass, which gave the finish the appearance of acne. The floorboard had holes which provided a viewing portal for the passing road. Purchase price: $700. I reasoned looks weren’t that important. I just needed something that would get me to where I was going—which it did some of the time, though the various occasions it left me stranded or required visits to a backyard mechanic opened up to me a whole new world of people whom I wouldn’t have otherwise encountered. What I wasn’t anticipating was the reaction I received from others. A fellow pastor, who saw me park my gold machine between the BMWs and Buicks in a church parking lot prior to an installation service, took me aside to express his concern that my congregation wasn’t taking better care of me. Several members of my congregation expressed suspicion that I was deliberately trying to embarrass them by driving such a car. They were not, however, so embarrassed as to propose an increase in my salary—nor did I expect them to. I considered a car purchase a private matter between me and my family. I hadn’t yet accepted that wasn’t entirely true. Most of us bristle at the things that go along with the public nature of ministry. It surprises and sometimes angers us that people have an opinion about what kind of car we drive, the behavior of our dog, the clothes we wear to the grocery store, how frequently we mow the lawn, or the driving habits of our teenager. It feels a bit like being owned, like a servant required to wear a certain livery and to behave in a certain manner, all to bolster someone else’s prestige. However, disregarding for the moment the inappropriateness of some of the expectations, there may be a legitimate reason for them. Those who hold those concerns usually have a strong attachment to their congregation. They desire their congregation to have a good reputation in the community because it reflects back upon them. They may even be concerned that a bad reputation will make it more difficult to attract new members. These, you must admit, are reasonable concerns, ones for which, like it or not, you bear a considerable amount of responsibility. You ought to know this because of the ways you have been impacted by the failures of others to meet their responsibilities. Pastors guilty of misconduct have influenced the way others see the office of ministry. Presumably, these individuals didn’t connect their private thoughts and actions with the consequences their actions may have upon others—especially upon their family and congregation but also upon their colleagues in ministry. They too, no doubt, would have preferred to have a complete separation between their private and professional life. Unfortunately for them and for us, that separation doesn’t exist.
Because opinions about your private decisions always exist, one is often faced with choosing, as a recent article in Leadership Journal put it, between “failure” and “fraud”---failure, if you decide you can’t live up to the expectations, fraud, if you attempt to be someone you are not. Neither is an attractive option. If you choose deliberately to defy and ignore the opinions of others, you risk making these issues the focus of your ministry. If you choose to sacrifice personal likes and dislikes for the greater calling of ministry, you are apt to become resentful and inauthentic. Recognizing that some private decisions do have public consequences, a wiser choice, it seems to me, would be to provide explanations about personal choices that may raise eyebrows. That way, while maintaining your own right to choose, you also acknowledge your responsibilities to others. Had I discussed my need for cheap transportation with several congregational leaders, it might have prevented some of the misunderstanding which occurred and may even have led others to gain as much amusement as I did from the adventure-producing golden Opal.
Quotes “The temptation in ministry is always to focus on expectations rather than grace.” “I'm not as bad as my critics accuse me of being, but I'm not as good as I've led some to believe. And right there, in the truth somewhere in between, is where we hear the voice of God. He still says to me, and to everyone called to follow Jesus, ‘I want you and I will use you.’" 
For information about my book containing reflections on the art of ministry, go to www.injarsofclay.com.
In Christ's Service, Roger Kruger This e-mail newsletter is an endeavor of Partners in Caring, Lutheran Family Services of Nebraska, Inc. I envision it as a way to share ideas, resources, and conversation about the joys and struggles of ministry. I welcome your input. Feel free to pass it on to friends.
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Distinguishing Between Public and Private
That
doesn’t mean the expectations that others hold are always
valid or must be honored. What kind of car you drive or what
you do for entertainment on Friday night are private decisions. Just
don’t be surprised if some members of your congregation have
an opinion. 
One
of the most wonderful opportunities for rest and renewal available
to all Lutheran church workers are the Grace Place retreats. Offered
at scenic locations and open to all Lutheran church workers, the
retreats address health and wholeness issues in a grace-filled
manner. Though the retreats. For information about my book
containing reflections on the art of ministry, go to 