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It is a riveting account with much food for thought. I found myself, however, fascinated especially with his description of one rather minor event. One snowy day, as he and his ragamuffin work crew were put to work spreading gravel to mend a railway bed, he paused for one brief moment to catch his breath, leaning on his shovel. Unfortunately, at that very moment the guard turned and saw him. Thinking he was loafing, the guard picked up a stone and tossed it at him. Of all the almost unimaginable indignities and brutal beatings which he endured—stripped of every possession, separated from all family and friends, knowing that many had already been put to death, made to do hard physical labor while receiving almost no food—this seemingly trivial event appeared to engender more anger than almost all the rest. He describes it with these words “That, to me, seemed the way to attract the attention of a beast, to call a domestic animal back to its job, a creature with which you have so little in common that you do not even punish it.” It is curious to me that one can be so inured to suffering and hardship that one becomes almost apathetic about it, while even the most minor experiences of being insulted or treated unfairly seem endlessly capable of generating intense feelings of resentment and indignation. Neuroscientists believe they now know at least part of the reason for this. Decisions about fairness are processed in the OFC (orbito-frontal-cortex), a portion of the brain that sits at the juncture between the amygdala, where the emotional processing of the brain takes place and the prefrontal cortex, where the rational and logical processing of the brain occurs. In other words, it is where the reptilian reaction “I’ve been hurt and I need to fight” collides with the reasonable assessment “There’s nothing I can do about this.” The collision of these two streams of thought creates a lot of heat but no action.
I believe that most issues of conflict that arise in congregations stem from this very primal reaction to being treated unfairly. This is often not voiced. As has often been observed, the issue is rarely the issue. People fight about a change that was made in the worship service, the amount of time pastor spends in the office, the way something is worded in the bulletin, and a host of other issues, but these are rarely what the conflict is about. If one were to step back, it would be quickly realized that the heat and passion which is generated is all out of proportion to the issue at question. Someone has been misunderstood, unfairly judged, mistreated and their OFC is glowing red hot.
Knowing this can help de-escalate some conflict. If you are feeling that you are being treated justly, first of all, remind yourself of the powerful nature of this emotion. Is it possible you are over-reacting? Make an effort to consider what has happened logically and rationally. Is the situation as bad as it seems to you? Is it that important? Think of the worst that could happen. Is that survivable? If so, is the situation really that significant? Consider the motivations you have attributed to others. Is that the only explanation for their behavior or are other explanations possible? Was Frankl’s guard really treating him like a dog or merely attempting to do his job without resorting to violence? And, if it is others that are angry with you because they feel they have been unjustly treated, remind yourself of the powerful nature of this emotion. Understand this will take time. Rather than attempting to defend yourself (which most likely won’t succeed), listen to them, treat them with respect, and, when appropriate, apologize. Of course, none of this is possible unless we are able to find a source of justice outside of ourselves, a justice that proceeds from justification, the undeserved act of grace and forgiveness that addresses our deepest needs and provides an unshakable ground on which to stand. Sabbaticals & Other Resources A rather extensive list of sabbatical grants and resources can be found at http://www.cord.edu/dept/charis/sabbat_info2.html.
Insults and Heart Attacks Insults from the perspective of age Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?” In Christ's Service, Roger Kruger This e-mail newsletter is an endeavor of Partners in Caring, Lutheran Family Services of Nebraska, Inc. I envision it as a way to share ideas, resources, and conversation about the joys and struggles of ministry. I welcome your input. Feel free to pass it on to friends.
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The Feeling of Injustice
The position of the OFC in the brain may also explain why the concept
of “fairness” is one of the first to develop in childhood, before many of the other more complex forms of information processing.
This area of the brain develops more quickly than certain areas of the prefrontal cortex. Thus, children very early on become preoccupied with issues of fairness and are easily upset when they perceive others benefiting from unequal treatment—as any parent thrust into the frequent role of referee knows. Don’t
bother trying to explain that fairness isn’t always being treated exactly the same or that life isn’t always fair and learning how to live with setbacks is more important than being treated evenhandedly. Those are higher functions of the brain that aren’t yet available.
Pastors are most likely to be disturbed by criticism that seems totally contrary to the way they see themselves—that they are deliberately
trying to upset someone, that they don’t work very hard, that they stubborn, that they are easily offended. Congregational
members are likely to become angry when it appears that their pastor doesn’t care or considers their ideas
or concerns unimportant. Often people who let criticism bother them are accused of being overly sensitive or too eager to please. There
may be some truth to this. But Frankl’s observations remind us that the desire to be treated fairly and with respect
is deep seated, stronger even than the fear of physical blows and torture.
The
Grace Institute for Spiritual Formation at the Sinsinawa Mound Center near Dubuque, Iowa offers a two year Spiritual Formation
Program for Lay and Clergy. Participants meet eight times a year in covenant groups of five to seven individuals, with presentations,
silent reflection times, prayer, and spiritual practices. More information is available at 
Studies have shown that interactions with people who sometimes make us feel good and sometimes miserable automatically create a strong
physiological response. Because each interaction is unpredictable and potentially explosive, heightened vigilance and effort is required. Among
the physiological responses is an increase in the release of T lymphocytes—the body’s response to foreign agents. Meanwhile,
the walls of the blood vessels secret a substance which binds with the T cells, setting in motion the formation of artery clogging
plaque. Now, do you suppose there may be a relationship between this and the fact that clergy rank among the top ten in the list
of occupations must liable to experience a heart attack?